Making Progress

Just so everyone knows my family is the greatest on earth!!!

      If you have a rebuttal to such a truly obvious statement jot it down with a writing utensil and a morsel of inscribing parchment and take it up with me in 18 months. (bring the boxing gloves)
      Well family things are going so good! I see you are doing well at home too! Matt congrats on the calling. Thats great you will be teaching bronzens class, maybe that will keep him in line. You know he already has a way with the ladies cause we got the same blood. Meree thank you so much for sending the package! We will see if i get it by my birthday. It seems here in TZ we get "Banished" from the outside world. Well honestly we kinda are being in a whole different country. Yeah this mission is "rather large"... just like Amys brothers! Man what do those guys eat!? I know i aint gonna get i height here sadly. There is a thing here called diarrhea and malnutrition... yeah its common. I just want six feet, is that too much to ask?
      Well we have 3 baptisms on sunday, My home boy Adam the Rasta Man, Mama Rose, and Sister Aika. All of them have a strong testimony and love the Lords kingdom. We are so excited for these guys. The Lord must be a great shepherd cause there are allot of "Black Sheep" entering into his fold. We also have 2 more baptisms on March 25. We just started teaching a lady names Esta and she has been coming regularly and last week she brought her husband who is really interested. Oh man i love teaching families. I will keep you updated on that!
      So yesterday was pretty eventful. We went to see mama rose. Mama rose lives in the "BUSH."  So of course we walk for about 40 minutes and get a dola dola(big van) to go over the river and through the woods to mamas house we go. So as usual there are 25 people in a 15 passenger van. So i luckily got a seat but a "rather large" stinky mama sat on my left leg. Let me add this is like a deer hunting road that would scare some 4 wheelers away, and it was over 105 degrees in that hot box. So there is this drunk guy being crazy the whole ride which wasnt short. I was feeling a little buzzed by his breath! So we finally get to our stop and get out and walk to mamas house who was very close. So we go in to her house and sit and start talking when standing in the door way is this drunk guy! He says lets pray. He starts freaking out saying Praise Jesus and doing all sorts of pentacostal nonsense. She asked him to leave and he came into the house started yelling at mama rose. I was mad and had enough! I grabbed this guys arm and like through him out the door and locked it. So she thanked me and we started to talk again when this drunkard starts bagging on the door. Oooooh i was in rage! I went out side and gave him strict talking to. He started swearing at me then staggered off trying to light his joint. hahaha so come to find out he is my branch presidents brother. oooops!!! I told him sorry and he said no he deserves to be treated like that. But yeah thats whats been going on. Oh so I talked to Pres B yesterday and asked if it might be possible if we went and worked on pday that if we could go to the Tanzania VS. Mozambique soccer national qualifying game on wednesday. He said as long as you work hard on monday you can go! I love my mission president and i will say being ZL has allot of perks despite all the responsibility. Right now we have allot of dead missionaries in the zone so it is hard to get people motivated. Matt if you have any advice from your mission i would really appreciate it! These guys are sluggs and it breaks my heart. The field is "black" already to harvest and they are slacking off.
    Thanks for the pictures, i had some good laughs! I am attaching a few pictures of my own in this email. I dont know if you can tell but my comp has a shnozz!!! I mean ryan howard from the phillies aint got nothing and my brother from a Ugandan mother. I honest think you could land a 747 jet in his nostrils. Lets just say picking isnt a chore for this guy. Most people would go pinky but he goes thumb with no hesitation! hahaha My spiritual challenge for you is what i am currently undertaking. Read the BOM and highlight every reference to christ. Thee, thine, thou, redeemer,savior, he, him....etc. This book does nothing but testify of christ.  
     Can you tell Porter Ohongera kwa kuzaliwa for me!!! Man i cant believe he id turning 5! Man that boy is growing up fast! Also Tell Bronzen Kazi Njema on baseball tryouts this week! I will pray for him! I have been keeping a journal but not everyday. Man the only thing i want to do when getting home at night is sleep. I write every few days but i promise to do much better! My feet are fine! Quit asking about ma feet! haha But mango season is December to March here. Oh so this week we ate at subway!!! I know right! I had a foot long meatball marinara on honey oat.(italian herbs and chesee wasnt a choice) It was EXPENSIVE! It was 11,500 tsh for the sandwhich and cheeps and a drank. I am starting to hear the language very well but speaking what i want is another story. This is honestly the hardest thing i have ever done and the language seems to not be coming. I dont think the Lord sent me here to learn the language but just teach me the key to inspiration... HUMILITY! And to answer your last question my current weight is 165. I hope it stays there too! Well i love you all and hope life keeps busy for you. Tell everyone i love them!
-Elder Haynes 

Another Week!!!

Another Week!!! 
    Wow time is really flying when your having fun. It so good here. I cant believe Q is the new EQP! Wow good for him. I hope he does a great job. I am so jealous of that Elders Q. I only had the one sunday in that ward, but i laughed harder and felt the spirit more in one sunday than many in the last ward. Its wierd saying ward now, i only know branches! haha But it seems you guys are doing so well and the lord is really providing. I hope things continue to look up. I will do my best to keep up on my end! ha 
   So i feel i havent been telling you much in my letters lately so please continue with the Q's list! That thing is fantastic. So first i just want to tell you about Elder Kiggundu! I love this kid. I have been wanting a comp like him since the get go. I haven't meet a Elder yet who wants to be as obedient as me till now. I am not tooting my horn or anything i am just saying my mission at this point is pretty apostate. I thought i was obedient till he came. We were talking after a lesson this week and we both looked at each other and at the same time said thank you! I haven't felt the spirit as strong on mission than with him. This guys is here to do work!!! I know how important comp unity is and he and i are great proof of that. This transfer is going to be so Good!
     Adam the Rasta is doing great! He comes to church every week and attends institute every saturday. We also are teaching the Branch Pres. aunt. She is also getting baptized march 2 and is so strong. Her daughters are RCs and she has seen the change in them and now we are teaching her son. I cant believe how amazing this church is! You cant come on a mission and then go home and go inactive after seeing ZION!!! haha 
     So before i forget let me answer your questions. Okay so my appartment in Dar is actually a house. Its nice! We have a whole yard. We have a nice A/C and keep out of the heat for a little everyday. My bed though is awful. I am gonna need some serious adjustments when i get home cause my back hurts all day long. Everytime i turn over on the bed it wakes the neighbors. This thing squeaks like no bodies business. You would think we are sacrificing small animals at night when all i am doing is getting up to go to the bathroom. We have an oven though! It doesnt work yet but we have one! haha One thing about TZ is the necessities of life just go away sometimes. Like today we dont have running water so we had to use our food storage water to was our clothes. Yeah be grateful you Americans! So it is really common to go a few days without a shower. Sometimes if we arent  dead tired we will fetch water and boil water and have a good old bucket shower by candle light cause sometimes the power goes for days at a time too! I love this Place! Everyday is an adventure and i have so many awesome stories to tell you guys because of it!
    Meree i would still love easy recipes. Honestly mostly easy desserts! I miss sweets! I am working out allot now so i am gaining a weight back. Amy is doing so good! She is one quality woman! I bet she looks good in a white dress! hahaha just kidding...(kinda) I will put in a good word for you guys so she will come visit again. Man i feel you guys got a better relationship with her than me these days.
     The form of Transport here is large buses called Dola Dolas. Most of the time we are standing and you feel like you have to repent when you get out cause there are like 4 people per sq foot in those things. Oh man i wish you guys could smell what i smell everyday. Its nice!!! haha We have bikes here but Pres doesnt want us to ride cause its to dangerous! So we walk like soldiers. I told you this mission is only for men! Tell PJ i havent gotten his letter yet. It takes like a month longer getting things to TZ. Most guys here are just getting christmas Packages. You still have to hid valuables in creative ways so you dont get charged allot for it. Also make sure there are no price tags on anything as well. We have 2 couples here in Dar. The Worthens and the Nolls. Elder Noll is in the mission Presidency so its like having mini mission pres around. He is a stiff man. He thinks missionaries need to suffer for two years so he gets mad at the worthens when they spoil us with home baked stuff. The worthens are so awesome. They are not as cool as the scotts but a very close runner up. 
      Life is soooo good! i am loving every minute of this great adventure. I promise to have a voice recording for you next week. ( I am currently pointing my littlest finger in a protruding motion towards the computer screen meaning.... Pinky Promise!!!) Man Tanzanians love that! Well i hope this letter was a little better. Oh i sent a disc with pictures on it with a missionary that just got home so you should get that soon in the mail. Oh and i really need that SD card back that i sent so i hope you got that on the way. Oh and i was wondering if you could find a certificate templet to email me. We want to do creative things for the members for feeding the missionaries. haha well i love all of you guys. Keep on Keeping on!!! Tutaonana wiki jio! Kwa heri!
-Mzee Haynes

GOLDEN!!!

Hey its so good to hear from you guys!!!
    Sounds like everyone is doing really well. Thank you so much for the pictures. I am doing really good! My new companion is Elder Kiggundu. He was in my MTC group and we got along really well. I am really excited! He likes to work hard and really thats all that i care about. So last transfer we had split the area in half. So my comp and his previous companion were working one big area then it was made two. So this transfer we were supposed to get 12 new missionaries to the mission but because of document reasons only one made it here. So they now put the area back to one area because we dont have enough elders. So me and my comp are covering two teaching pools for a transfer. Our area is like from gunlock to warner valley. Yeah its rather large! So we are really stressing out but at least my comp will be a ZL with me. We have a great teaching pool right now. We have one investigator named Adam. He is a Rasta looking guy with dreads. Haha he makes me laugh. Anyway this kid is so cool. He is 21 and he contacted us. Then he walked two hours the next day to church. Say it with me GOLDEN!!! He is set for baptism on march 2. He had some intense word of wisdom and law of chastity issues but hasnt done anything since he met us. He loves Bball and said if he had a ball to play with it would keep him busy and away from his lame friends. So i bought a ball and i keep it at the church. So everyday he walks to the church to practice. He also comes twice a week for english class and he comes to the YSA activities every saturday. I love this kid. He speaks perfect english too. haha He calls me Highness like everyone since i have been on mission. He says highness and me are home boys. So everytime we see eachother we bro hug. Yeah i am really black these days. But yeah i am really ready to work hard this transfer. The language is coming a little better now so i am gaining a little confidence. 
       I am still loosing weight. I am running everyday and working out at night. The home we are staying in had a bar and some weights so i am taking advantage. I found protein powder here so dont send that. I am feeling good and enjoying this place. I am just worried that i will get transfered once i get comfortable with the language. I hope that doesnt happen. I think the people are kinder here and much more willing to listen which is hard to top kenya. I love humble people. 
       Matt, i cant believe how successful you are with work right now. I am so grateful to the lord for this. Like i said before he was just testing you guys to make sure you helped get me out here then he would pour out his blessings. I have been so blessed by you guys and dont know where i would be or what i would be doing without your guidance and support. Oh hey i am so jealous of you! Like you get to meet good o'l jeff holland! Man thats been my dream! Oh you better have giving me a shout out and mentioned my name! He is due for another visit to Kenya so i really hope i get to see him. So i got your pictures but they were like microscopic for some reason and went blurry when i made them big. But thanks for taking a picture of SunShine truck stop, Hey did you guys know my mom used to work there. Now i just need you to drive to parowan Mav and hit up nancy and get some FRESH jalapeno cheese bread where its still warm and the bag is still foggy.... oh damn i just drooled all over the key board. shhhhhh then head up the canyon had hit the pot hole after yankee meadows followed by the dry lakes signs that should just ready DRY, then thunder ridge then the big brian head sign and have keaton say... man every time i see that sign i get so excited. hahaha I am missin it. It would just be nice to not sweat for a couple hours. 
    Well i am doing good and oh thank you so much for the stuff being sent you are so awesome! I could use a little deoderant and any chocolate you can find. Reeses butterfingers anything. haha thanks for all you guys do and i love you so so much. I could use a little advice from matt about helping these guys be more obedient. It seems when you try to be a leader and help they reject more. It is not easy i tell you what! What? I just told you! haha Jeff foxworthy. Well again thanks for everything. I will email a voice recording next week!
Elder Haynes