Write Me!

Elder Seth Haynes
Kenya Nairobi Mission
Upper Hill Road
Next To Citigroup
PO Box 46162-00100
Nairobi, Kenya

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Working The Corner

Hey guys!
   Thanks for writing! Its good to hear you are seeing more of our family these days. I did know about the temple patron fund. It blesses many lives here in kenya. Most couldnt go if it wasnt for it. So about my area i think you are a little confused. I have been here over six months and wont leave till december making it 7 1/2 months in one area. Thats a long time! So as far as your christmas idea goes. It is a good idea, the problem is customs. If sent here someone has to pay to accept them like i do with packages. It would help a ton but i dont know the full procedures. You would have to email or call sister broadbent.sbroad007@msn.com. That is pretty awesome that the family is willing to go with less gifts to help others. 
        Tell Bronzen he is a lazy bugger for not writing. It is good he is eating allot of protein. Just make sure he uses it! This week has been pretty eventful. We sent Elder Mbazima home this week. It was really sad but it needed to happen. He was my former companion and my hardest so far and he was cause major issues. Things are good now though. We are getting a branch missionary from Kisumu to replace him. 
       The work is going really well actually! We have found some new people and are just working on getting all our investigators who should already be baptized problems solved. This part of the country has some hard traditions that are not lining up with gospel standards. We have a guy named Shaban who is golden. He loves the church and is addicted to the book of mormon! He has been called a devil worshiper and sticks up for the church. Its pretty awesome. His family doesnt speak english but they will get the gospel later i guess. So we are excited to devote all time an attention to the Lord now that we have resolve all the issues in our zone. 
    We had a fun experience this last week. We were doing some street contacting and no one would talk to us. It was like everyone had a stick up their butts that day. So we start getting frustrated and realized that we were "working a corner." That brought some laughs then we realized what might have been the real problem. We looked and what we didnt know is a big poster that hung on the pole behind us. It read "Beware of STD's." Man that was a funny thing to see. Haha beware of us. I would stay away to! haha   
    Other than that not much else to report. I am doing well and feeling good now. Its amazing what you can take when the Lord is on your side! We are doing good. I love you all and hope you have a great week. I promise to be more informative next week.
Elder Haynes


Dear Family,
   Thanks for writing. It is so good to see an email each week. It is much needed support and i am so grateful for it. I am sorry to hear about porter! Uh i am so mad! I want to know what kinda parents teach a 5 year old to bully. Obviously they dont just pick that stuff up anywhere. Lets sick hobbs on him or something! Man get porter in Karate or something. I want him to kick that boys trash. Then pick him up and say "I love ya, but dont treat my like that again!" Oh could you imagine. It would sweep... nay it would swiffer the nation on you tube. If a video of the show down can be acquired i would humbly request for my viewing pleasure. Hes a tough lad though he can hold his own. He is just to nice!
        Sooo... I am doing okay! It has been probably my craziest week on mission but i am handling all in stride. It hasnt been much for the missionary work end of things. It is rather exhausting though. I have been on the phone with the APs and President all week. I went on exchanges with my former companion who is unwilling to change. He is reading false doctrine material and destroying his testimony. Man it is hard to see. He hasnt changed and the same problems have been there since mombasa. So after hours of counsel with the DL and his companion(Mbazima) we came to the conclusion that he is unwilling to change. People think the mission pres is a racist but the Africans are the only ones who are causing these issues. There are just a few in the mission who are kicking against the pricks but are trying to campaign to make all men miserable like unto themselves. So the sister(major issue) that was out of control in our zone was sent on a emergency transfer due to behavior. So after this awful week it was smoothed over by saturday. We got to watch the saturday morning and afternoon sesh of conference. This really lifted my spirits. Elder Utchdorfs talk specifically, "We are so worried about the finish we forget to find joy in the journey!" This really helped me. So we gathered saturday night as a zone to receive the transfer news from the APs. What news came wasnt exactly what i wanted to hear. Because of current issues the whole mission is standing still. This made my heart sink at first. This has never happened. But it is clear that some missionaries have a decisions to make. President is demanding exact obedience. Either shape up and repent or ship out. It is good to see because President is so kind and loving and now he is cracking down! 
      As i sat in awe at the news I felt the spirit come over me so strong and heard a voice that said "You are still needed here." The missionaries in the zone said if you would have gone our zone would have crumbled. I dont say this to toot my horn but it is amazing how the Lord doesnt call the qualified but qualifies the called. This humbled me greatly. This is a test right now. The lord is sifting the wheat from the chaff and I can continue to rise and improve or be idle and i cannot allow such a awful thing to happen. We are going to be more obedient than exact obedience. I had to repent in my sadness at first hearing the news. I know the Lord needs me here. Seven and a half months is but a small moment. I love my savior so much and his trust in me. I cannot tell you how much i have learned and what the lord is shaping me to be. I am in love with the lord! We are going pretty steady i aint gonna lie! A courtship if you will. Conference helped so much and he will never forsake us in our time of need.
     So on a different note. Miriam was not baptized. I think the Lord might also be keeping me around to finally see her make that specially covenant. She didnt tell us before but her parents are practicing Pligs and she need to go through some more procedures to make sure she is totally ready. Man she is gonna be so converted. I was really touched by bednars talk about the testimony and conversion. His analogy of the 10 then virgins was sheer genius. The oil of conversion and the Lamps of testimony. With our the oil the lamp is not enough. I think this is what the Lord is trying to teach Miriam and test her on. Hopefully this transfer the heavens will rejoice when she has done her part to partake of his salvation.
     On another note, We had a very eventful sunday morning. So i have discovered i am a very light sleeper. I have struggled since i have been in this area to get a good nights rest. From the chickens with no biological clock(Kramer is still better than the African cock despite his blunders) and the dogs that provide no security but unnecessary noise. You know how bad i hate loud noises.  I will use mixture of my and my companions journal entry in hopes to paint the full picture in your mind! and i quote,
    "Funny thing about this morning, Haynes and I woke up before 6:30 a.m. because of the rooster in the compound crowing," as usual."Haynes was up before me. I said my personal morning prayers and as I opened my eyes and stood up Haynes said, "It's time. I need your help." He had a crazed look in his eyes and had the stance of being prepared for battle. I cautiously asked, "What for?" He answered, "The cock. We need to catch it. I know it's the Sabbath, but I can't take it anymore." I agreed to assist, seeing the distress it was causing my companion. 

Elder Haynes then elaborated a cunning scheme whereby we could trap and package the mentioned cock. Each of us would have a wash basin to catch the rooster with. Haynes would drive him from the front of the building to the side towards the back. It was a narrow passage not more than 4ft. wide. While he did that, I was to wait it's coming to block his retreat. It couldn't have gone better.

It was 6:30 in the morning still so we had to be quiet in our capture. Moments after we each took our positions, the cock came fleeing down the predestined escape route. I blocked his way. As Haynes appeared at the other possible exit, the cock realized there was nowhere left to run and I imagine he thought something along the lines of, "oh poop."

Rather than charge either of us, he made one last attempt as we closed in on him. "I can fly, " he thought as he vaulted upward trying to rise above the 10ft. wall. But as we all know, chickens are the wannabe's of flying birds. He failed to achieve his goal and what followed can only be described as epic.

With the cock in mid-air, Haynes wielded his wash basin with precision and swiftness. He covered it over the chicken and, with haste, trapped him to the earth. The expression on Elder Haynes' face as he looked up, then down, then up from the basin was one of surprise, satisfaction and complete joy. He silently rejoiced smacking the basin in taunting the rooster. He then put one foot on top of it, raised both arms high and, without noise, acted as if he were echoing a victory yell to the heavens.

From there we manhandled the feathery foe into a box previously containing Restoration pamphlets and rejoiced. Haynes then wanted to write a message on it in Swahili and leave it on the owner's doorstep. Translated, he wrote, "Mama, you need to know that I will eat."

We then stealthily watched out our window for the time when they would find it. As we sat the melodious sounding comment danced acrossed Elder Haynes cerebellum. I Elder Woolard said, "Elder you were like Jason borne back there." In time, someone came out, but it wasn't the usual mama. It was her elephant of a husband! Who almost had a satanic "son of the morning" look in his eye. We both peed ourselves a little and hid when we thought he was approaching our flat. Elder Haynes looked at me in his sad state and said, " oh man dats a big nigga." Her husband is in the Kenya military mind you. But much to our relief, he didn't come. Rather, the mama released the chicken and immediately the cock began his hellacious song of agony. The mama wrote a reply on our box and her spawn of satan child left it at our door. The message we found out was a bad juju curse medicine woman witch doctor type deal. Translated it meant "you will regret eating because the cock will crow from your belly and haunt you!" Pretty crazy right!
    But last night Elder Haynes slept the best he has in months.
   So that was our eventful week. The church is still true and know i love you all. Thanks for all the love and support. 
     -Elder Haynes

Tender Mercies

Hey Guys,
   Sounds like everyone is doing very well! I am stressed out of my mind actually. Its zone conference week and i am so sick of planning these things. Anyway its a blessing i guess. Sorry i will not have much to write this week. We are really crunched on time. thanks for writing me though and sending those really graphic images! It is insane how everyone is changing. Is bronzen juicing? Seriously keep an eye on that boy. That stuff is actually readily available in high school. Its obvious though that i didnt partake. Gosh i gotta get my but in gear so i wont be an eye sore when i get home! I am sorry your job is so stressful. What other career option are you looking into? I like the sound of what hobbs is becoming. Man what a stud! 
    I am so jealous of your trip to St. Louis! that is gonna be a bang up time. Man i am missing out on so much. Road Trip! Break out the funyuns and Dr. Pepper. Oh man you dont know what you have till you lose it!
   My week was a good and bad. We found out our golden Investigators Nicholas and Eunice are practicing polygamists! So I was pretty depressed this week. Its amazing how much you love them and the amazing relationship built. Then what do they do... "They rip your heart outta your ass!" Thats right. Sorry a little color but with Adam Sandler it seems a little justified. I am really losing steam that i thought was there. The people that were keeping me going wont get dunked. Its really hard to have taught and prepared 4 families for baptism and all have had issues that are not yet resolved. Good news though Sister Miriam did get married on saturday. So she will be a tender mercy. I have been teaching her since may and now i finally get to see her get in the water. Well thats about all thats going on. Please dont have too much fun without me!
Elder Haynes 

Not Enough Time in a Day

Hello Matt,
Man talk about jealous! I am green with jealous rage right now. Its so cool that you got to go on this trip! Your mom looks so good and i bet this vacation was greatly needed. Meree says your aging lately. I beg ta differ, you look 18 in the picture with your mom. (dont know if that is good or not) She did say you are drinking less coke though so props bro! I am happy for the cards in the playoffs. I am more excited to get your commentary on the series. Well i dont really have much time but thanks for taking the time to write it really means allot. I hope in a few weeks i will be in an area where i can voice record you guys. I feel like emails are just awful these days and not much in is informative. Its really hard to keep you updated when i am so busy. Haha i should talk, i am not the one with a wife and three boys. Well i love you bro and just promise me some fun when i get home eh!
Elder Haynes

Putting Us to the Test

Hey Family,
    Sorry about my writing skills. It really has become hard lately, but i promise to do much better in the future. The house looks like a home. Haha meree i love your betty crocker type skills to do it all yourself. Really, i mean i am used to mud huts so this is a huge step up! Wow i cant believe how big owen is getting. What are you feeding your kids. They all look like they are juicing! Meree what you putting in the food?! I think it might be HGH.... so its not illegal here so i am sure you could send it right over. I am glad matt got to go to Nauvoo. What a cool experience! I am so jealous and am really sad i am missing out so much, but no! You guys are missing out! I eat mangoes every day so so so beat that! The new mission age can be both good and bad. I just worry about immature girls out here cause it is already hard enough. For instance, we have a sister in our zone currently who has been texting bad things to another Elder and we have to report and handle the situation. Her companion is 26 and should be the next AP so she is on the ball and actually just reported this today. So i know it is inspired but it will have its set of challenges. I guess they are always there though.
      This week was great but also very sad and stressful. There has been an outbreak in our mission and many Elders are saying the mission Pres is racist and also his APs. It is a huge problem! I trained on love and despite our color the lord sees our heart. It is really tearing things apart. There are some missionaries that President just needs to send home. We have two white Aps as companions and the mission is insane. It is really bad. When there are two blacks there isnt a problem but two whites and all hell breaks loose! My zone was leading the mission till Elder Mbazima came here. Does that name sound familiar? He was my companion and is causing all sorts of problems. He is tearing our zone apart. In my interview with president we talked for along time about all this. It just tears him up inside and the whole mission has seen a big change.
      Also things are getting pretty crazy here. As the Elections draw near the scarier it gets. Nothing to worry about but we are taking some precautions. All elders must be home by 8, the mission is buying everyone food storage. In mombasa the elders had to stay home for a week and couldnt go out. So yeah its a little rough but the work is moving forward none the less.
      It was good to see and talk with Elder Pocock. He is the AP right now. Seriously my best friend of all time. We have such a good relationship and we counsel so much about the mission. It is kinda crazy infact how much President and the Aps confide in me. Its kinda allot of pressure to be asked what we should do in certain situations. It really makes me sad how satan can always find a way in to cause a problem to the lords work. My comp and i fasted this last week for our zone to be more unified and how to solve some problems. Sadly i am just excited to leave in two weeks cause I am pretty certain i am going. I need a change. Its to stressful. I dont sleep worrying about all this stuff. Well i will cut this short, just wanted to let you know whats going on. We are headed to buy all the Elders their food storage so pray for me. You know how much i like shopping! haha
Love Your bro,
Elder Haynes

The Work, The Work, The Work is on Fire!

Dear Family,
   Now that is what i am talking about! That is an email! You guys sound so good and i am really happy how much you love you ward and stake. I am excited to see it in action. Just the one week in Elders Quorum could make any man lust! Then hearing about the shooting activities makes me tear up to be quite honest. I am a little nervous about talking in that ward when i come home. A, I dont know anyone B, They are all white and 3, I dont know anyone. Do you think our former wards will ask me to come? I know sometimes when missionaries get home they get assigned with a high councilman and they have to speak like crazy! Maybe i could dodge that bullet. I know i will just apply the 5 D's of dodge ball. Dodge, Duck, Dip, Dive and..... Dodge. Anyway that is just crazy about porter. Haha he is a little drama queen! Does he still get mad if his clothes dont feel exactly right? Sadly, He has a point on that one, just goes about it in a little different way. You are getting in shape huh? That paint race sounds somehow fun but some how dangerous and inconvenient. Living on the edge eh? Speaking of living on the edge, could you guys take a snow trip to brianhead for me and tell her i will be there soon. I miss her like i miss english.(Allot) I find myself speaking allot of swahili lately. It is still improving really well since we have been tracting in the ghetto. 
      Speaking of the work, It is on fire! We had 20 investigators at church this yesterday. It was just nuttier than squirrel turds. A little overwhelming to be honest but things are going so great! Nicholas and Eunice are pretty much the coolest couple in this country. I love them so much. They have a personality and a good sense of humor and can joke and laugh at themselves. Mirium is not married yet. It is now set AGAIN for this saturday, so keep your fingers crossed! We are shooting for 4 baptisms on the 14th of october. Man i am praying for that. Its so good to see the fruit ripening. Elder Woolard will have allot to do when i scamper off. We should have 5 more after i get transferred. So every friday we street board(its where we set up a table in front of the church with a board with lots of pics to draw people in and just talk gospel and give them materials. Its a really good finding tactic) and this week it was much funner(is that a word? I guess if spell check didnt get me, man i rely on that these days) Anyway we spotted a group of drunks staggering down the road and they came up and were asking for pamphlets. So we gave them a bunch and they were so excited and started handing them out to everybody. Haha its our new tactic to get the good news out. It was so funny to see them staggering and waving down cars even. Haha it was a good time. Then we had two pastors at different times come up and start yelling. "You cant teach me anything, I have many degrees in theology!" The other "Your church turns people to a man,(Joseph Smith) People come to ME then through offerings i turn them to God!" Man where we live we have many crazy churches. Lots of whores in Huruma(abominable churches). haha Also earlier in the week we met a guy that was so smashed he could barely stand up. We gave him a word of wisdom pamphlet and he staggered off. We found him later that day passed out in a field with the pamphlet in hand. Dont worry i got a picture! The drunks make the work fun. We usually dont tract much because of how the houses are here. They have big gates and multiply houses with in and it is pretty privacy invading but we did find some good people from it. We are doing great and i am really glad i stayed but i will be really glad when i go! 
     So i have really come down on my standards. If the Hadleys thought B-row and i were barbarians when i left they best be worried now. We are back to rarely having water or power and our cleanliness is really going south. But good news my immune system can put everyone to shame so there is room to be grateful. Some times we only have water for 3 or 4 hours a week and it will just come on at random times. So not cool but way awesome. Its just like camping for 2 years! What is nice is you can never really smell. Well you can but no one thinks you stink! So we are working hard and loving every second. We are starting a music/choir class in our branch. We are sick and tired of people singing the same hymns and the ones they know are butchered so we will see how that goes. I shall keep you updated.
     We are doing great as ZLs. My zone is leading the mission and it shows. Every month we have a ZTM(Zone Training meeting) and we get to evaluated and stress obedience and it is a great thing. We are actually doing it this wednesday i will let you know how that goes. It is really good to see the growth. A general authority came to visit the District and said you need 300 more people to get a stake. Whether they are reactivated or new converts. So for 9 branches that is really just around the corner. There is only one stake in the mission and you need at least 5 stakes and allot of tithing payers to get one so we are a little ways off but maybe ten years down the line.
     Well thank you so much for this last email. I love hearing about everything. It was making me miss you guys so much though. I miss all the good humor and fun times. Our family is proof that you dont need money to have fun and make memories. Ooooo... I think if we put our heads together we could come up with some good material. New york times best seller? Amy and i are still writing every week and still very close! You need to hit her up and invite her down again! She is not in school this semester so i am sure if she got work off she would love to grace our blessed city with her presence again. Tell bronzen hands off though! haha Any who i love you guys and know i am doing so well and just happy to be serving the Lord. I am learning so much out here. haha who knew right! haha Anyway keep up the good work and know you are in ma prayers. Oh if you could do me a favor i would really appreciate. There is no hurry but i need my passwords for my dixie college info. I totally forgot. Even applying for Fasfa and what not. Can you believe i gotta think about that stuff now. 

Elder Seth Ryan Haynes

A Taste of Home

   How are you guys. I got your Package!!! Man i am spoiled. The popcorn with the jalapeno cheese stuff will be rationed and cherished! Thank you so much for all the treats and socks. It was desperately needed. Thank you again. Well this week was pretty lame as far as work goes cause we had so much to do but it was still great. We had 8 investigators at church and they are amazing people. We have 3 newly wed couples with baptismal dates. It seems they are much more teachable and less stubborn to get them early. haha 
     The branch has come leaps and bounds. The sacrament meeting was fantastic. I really felt the spirit with the talks which has been the first in a while due to the lack of prep and just terrible talks. But this week was just outstanding. I am glad i stayed. We are seeing some amzing success. Well i really dont have much else to report. We are in a crazy hurry cause we have to go buy tons of stuff to furnish the elders new flat which will be awful. Uh you know how much i like shopping! haha well I love you all. Hey maybe write me earlier so you are not nodding off mid sentence eh?
Elder Haynes